you know I have those days when nothing seems right -not me, not the world, not nothin’
and then I have those days like today, when it doesn’t matter if me, the world or anything is right.
Because I today I remembered what really matters in work, in life, in me.
Today I added a little beauty to the world.
and it was good.
good like it’s Maker.
good cause I was that little bit closer to reflecting my Maker.
so today to conclude my shabbat, I went and hung out with my brother and fam (family was always an integral part of shabbat). I took a shepherd’s pie that I’d made this morning (technically it was a cottage pie because it was made with ground beef not ground lamb but no one in this country knows what cottage pie is, so we’ll leave it as a variety of shepherd’s pie - Aunty Mary will let is slide this time).
I was dusting the top with some grated cheese before I popped it back in the oven - when my dear little friend (and this would be my two legged little bald friend, not my four legged little furry friend) beside me thrust her little hands up in the air - Not to be picked up mind you - she wanted some cheese. So I gave her a bit - straight into her tiny open mouth.
Then I heard the most delightful sound in the world.
She smiled and said: more?
Aunty Sally likes this shabbat business!
More?
I love words. I love hebrew words so much cooler than English words … shabbat. sabbath. shabbat is just much better — but alas I’ve digressed.
so for lent, I’m trying to return to life as it should be. life as God intended for it to be. And so I’m going to take 24 hours a week for shabbat. that 1 and 6 rhthym of creation .. some weeks I realize I might have to be a little creative with where those 24 hours happens … but that’s what I’m trying. that’s my step towards how life should be and how I was created to live that life.
so today, my first try at this new Lenten discipline (isn’t it crazy that we have to make taking a day off a "discipline." — and let me digress once more: again for the record, I think those of us who work in the church are just as lousy at honoring this commandment - but again I digress).
today I learned something about me and sabbath.
For God to put me back together again (the restoration that comes from taking the sabbath) I actually first have to let myself fall apart. I have to be a mess. Let me explain. I spend the other 6 days of the week being so together that if I don’t take a sabbath, I don’t realize that I’m a mess (fall apart a little; let down a little) and in need of a sabbath. And if I don’t realize that in reality I’m a mess and need a sabbath, then how can God put me back together again for the next 6 days. None of this is a good thing.
so today, I’m taking sabbath.
and today, I’m a mess, I’ve come undone a little.
but today, I’m being put back together again.
you don’t need to drink alcohol, go to clubs, stay out all night to wake-up with a what I presume is a hang-over.
nop. you can just work in the church - a few particular weeks a year.
I was reminded of this as I woke this morning and my body screamed to stay in bed.
But regardless of my head and body. It was a good week.
And Lent has begun. and I love Lent.
Teach us to care and not to care
Teach us to sit still even among these rocks.
-T.S. Elliot’s Ash Wednesday
Teach us to fast. Teach us to pray.
Teach us to remember even among these bumps, bruises and rough spots.
Today is my 1.
Or at least I’m trying at it being my 1.
I confess I’m not very good at the 6 and 1 model of life.
I heard this great sermon last week about the 6 and 1 rhythm we’ve been give for life. He was talking about how research shows that if animals at the zoo are left out for observation 7 days a week, they suffer. Even the animals life better with the 6 and 1 rhythm.
So here’s my 1:
Friday, Febrauary 16th
So here’s my prayer:
My God - I have come undone in the last week, put me back together again.
So here’s my plan:
Rest
O Lord my God
grant us your peace;
Give us that peace of being at rest,
that sabbath peace
that peace which knows no end.
-St. Augustine (354-430)
Disappearing. Noticing. Surviving.
Grey’s in full form.
"I know people die, people die in front of us every day… but I believe in the good. I believe that it’s been a hell of a year. And I believe that in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we will all be ok… I believe that we survive. I believe that believing we will survive is what makes us survive." -Izzie
loving.
It’s amazing to me how little it takes to totally set me off kilter — to knock my equilibrium off balance. And then everything seems out of control. Too much on the plate. Too much swirling around. The world spinning around me seemingly quite thrilled at tossing things out that still need attention, that still need to be done; all as I’m trying to keep my footing.
Of course my favorite part of this natural phenomenon - I don’t even realize I’m off balance, equilibrium knocked, until the world is already spinning and I’m staggerring about barely holding my ground. HAH! Gotta love life.
This morning though — it was snowing. And the birds were out at my window. And Bugs was paying much attention to me — And God seemed to say: … just notice the little things … the calming things, the beautiful things, the essential things, the warming things: like snow and cardinals and all shall be well again. you shall steady and find your equilibrium again.
so I bought dog food on the way to church AND a bag of bird seed.
Now we just have to keep on hoping that the snow will settle.
I’ll never be able to know for certain which bacon from which stall she always bought at Findley Market. I can guess. But it’ll be along time before I can ask - and by then I’m not so sure I’ll be concerned about bacon.
Blessed are those who weep now, for they shall laugh — Luke 6
Last night I laughed - I laughed with a friend. I laughed hard. At the funny little things I do in life. And it was good.
"All through the changes, the soul never dies. We fight. We laugh. We cry. As the years go by." - Amy Grant.
Holy Ground across the river
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