all i need

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You know sometimes I have those moments when I get it.  I really get it.  not just in my head.  but in my heart.  my heart gets it.  Usually because in some way I’ve lived it.  it’s been made real.  and finally i get it.

Saturday night I got it.  my heart got it.   

My beautiful and captivating neice was with me for the night.   She’s walking; she’s crawling; she’s all over the place.   And the thrill of her night was sitting on my hard wood floor banging pots and pans with wooden spoons (why buy toys???? ).   The thrill of my night was watching in wonder at this little creation sleeping on my bed.   

Brenda came about 1am to pick her up – it was cold.  it was crisp.   So as Brenda was putting everything in the car, I bundled Janey Grace up in a blanket.  And wrapped my arms around her and held her tight to my body as she slept on.   

My neice wasn’t going to get cold.  And though it was only yards from the house to the car.  My mission was clear and fast.   Hold her tight.  Hold her safe.  Keep her warm.  Keep her close.   Let her sleep.   At all costs.   Even just for those few yards. 

I seemed to have this vague recollection from my childhood of similar swaps in the night.  The only difference was that the child was me.

And then I got it.   I   got    it. 

Maybe – just maybe, this is how HE holds me.  how HE carries me.  how HE keeps me close.  how His mission is clear and fast: keep her tight.  keep her safe.  keep her warm.  let her rest.  and not just for the long hauls, but even for just the few yards from house to car.   

I think I got it.  I think my heart got it.

"holding onto me holding onto you…  it’s all I need."   – matt kearney