Feeling Numb

The sensation is coming back to my nose.   The numbness didn’t quite reach my eye today.  But I still have a crooked smile.   And trying to bring a glass to my mouth to hydrate is still hysterical.

I’m currently fascinated by the numbing of the mouth and how it affects the face.  And how it feels or actually, how it doesn’t feel.   I’m sure my fascination is due in part to how many times I’ve been numbed over the last couple weeks.  I’m also sure that the fascination will wear off – literally – as I become aware of all that went on in mouth while I was numb.

At one point I was tilted back in the chair and I kept running my finger across my face.  Up and down. Side to Side.  Noticing where the lines between feeling and not feeling were.   I poked and pulled and twisted on my lower lip – amazed that although I knew in my head I had a lip,  it was as if it was missing: a chunk of me was gone. Numbing, obviously serves it purpose.   It protects us from pain – it protected me from drilling and I-don’t-even-want-to-know everything else that happened behind my “missing” lip.

I suppose really, numbing allows healing to begin. In my case, it allows those medical hands to clean out what is bad so that my teeth will play better with the rest of my mouth, thus, making all things well again. Where numbing is so not helpful, though, is at home after the procedures are done.  Two weeks ago, it was several hours before I could drink out of a glass without dribbling all down me.  And trying to put food in mouth was an even bigger mess.

I kinda wish that I would have had this “numbing” experience years ago.   Maybe I would have clued in sooner to the note that what happens with the body is usually mirrored in our psyche.   “Numbing” emotions serves its purposes immediately but if it carries on too long not only can it make a mess out of life and love but it can be as if a part of me is actually missing.   I am not a complete “sally” – I am not fully present – if I’m numb – physically or psychologically.

The thing is though, I would not – and I repeat NOT – want my teeth drilled without numbing – no sir. But once I get home and the work from the dentist chair is done, honestly?  Dealing with the pain is easier  than dealing with the numbness.

So three cheers for numbness that wears off — three cheers for the ibuprofen that helps us manage the pain.

U2 usually helps, too.